The Real Life Struggle of the NWG

Nicky Green Eyes.
Nicky Wills.
The NWG.
Nick Knack.
The Pickle.
Little Buddy.
Bubby.
Bubba.
Bud.

My little guy "answers" to all of these names and more. I say "answers" because it's a crapshoot as to whether the adorably ornery threenager is actually going to answer you at all. While he is sometimes as unbearable as a toddler can be - he is also the sweetest little charmer you ever did meet. And he is funny. So funny. Without even trying or realizing he is being funny.

Nick, who is just 4 months shy of turning four, has struggled the most out of all of us during this time of shelter in place. Young kids need and crave a schedule. A routine. For all of his little life, Nicky and I have had a routine. Even if the routine changed from day-to-day, his week-to-week routine was planned out and similar. Since September, when he started pre-school, he has had a consistent routine. Wake up, quiet time with Mom while lunches are made, drive big kids to school, drive to his school. We developed routines even in drop off that were repeated every day. As we pull into the lot at school, Nicky would have me make the same promise every day. He would say "if the door is locked, Mom, I come home with you?" "Yes, buddy. If the door is locked, I will bring you home with me."

Of course, the door was never locked. We always walked in. I would carry his coat and bag to his hook. While he removed his shoes, I would take his lunch box out, hang his coat and bag, and offer to put his lunch box where it belonged for him. He would take it from me, put it in the lunch box bin and we would walk into the classroom together. In the nearly seven months that I have been dropping him off, I have never seen another parent in that room with me. But I walk in with Nicky every day. I walk him in and walk him to the sink. He washes his hands using "just one pump" of soap. Once his hands are clean and his paper towel disposed of, he gets himself a small cup of water. While he pours his water, he asks me to help him get a work "from up above." Of course, I agree to getting him the work "from up above" (the higher shelves of the before care work). We walk to the circle mat and he pulls out his rug while I walk over to the shelves. Once his mat is spread out, he ponders the work - the same works that have been there every day since his first day in September. He finally selects one and I take it off the higher shelf and hand it to him. He places it on the mat then comes to say goodbye. I pick him up and he gives me a kiss and then a hug and then another kiss. Then I put him down and we high five...and fist bump...and head bonk... and the last piece of our parting ritual is Nick's parting message: "Have a good day, Mom."

To which I always reply, "you have a good day too, bud."

And then I leave to start my day.

We have a routine for our pick up too. He asks the same questions every day and we have the same reunion every afternoon at 2:55. We are creatures of habit...but the past three weeks have completely shot every habit in our arsenal. And he is struggling.

My poor little guy doesn't have his routine anymore. Unlike Rich, myself and the older kids, he can't process what is happening. He doesn't understand dates and lengths of time. He just wants to see his friends and his beloved teachers. Three weeks ago, before normal was upended, he would ask me "is today Mommy Nicky Day?" Mommy Nicky Day is what we call Fridays around here - because he goes to school Monday - Thursday, so Friday is a day for him & me, while the big kids are in school. For the first few days of the COVID Social Distancing Project, he asked me if today was Mommy Nicky Day. By the start of the second week, he was no longer asking for Mommy Nicky Day...he instead started asking "am I going to school today?" When he heard my "no," his initial response was "Phew." (which sounds a bit like "foo" coming from him.) A few days of that and "phew" changed to "aww." Now, the "aww" has turned into rapid fire questions about his friends from school and when he will see them next.

He wants to have a sleepover. Rockwell will sleep in his crib next to him. Amelia will sleep next to Rockwell's socks and Jacob will sleep next to his socks, next to Amelia. When he walked into his sister's ceiling fan and gave himself a knot on the forehead and a bit of black eye, he asked me to let his teachers know for him. It was big news in his life - and they are big people when it comes to telling the news!

His lack of a routine includes a lack of a nap. I'm not sure how well or how long he naps during his school day...but No Nap Nick is No FUN! He gets to 3pm and he is completely miserable with a super short fuse. But to go down for a nap at 1 means he is missing out on so much with his siblings, and he just can't miss out on the fun! (Fun couldn't be any number of things...from lunch to watching TV to doing homework...it doesn't matter.)

My heart breaks for Nick. There is no reasoning with a toddler - and he is still too little to have any understanding of what is happening in our world. Beyond helping him cope with the now - I also worry about what will happen once the world is regulated again. He is now growing used to the adjusted schedule around here. He is accustomed to sleeping with in Rosie's room - either with Rosie or in "Angie's bed." He doesn't need to be anywhere. Frankly, the learning process with Nick is on hold - because the process of helping the three older kids is more than I can handle and that needs to take priority for now.

Ultimately, I know my little guy will be ok. I don't know that he will remember this time, but through the stories we tell him and the memories we share. For most of us, this is a scarier time. Not for Nicky. He misses his teachers and his friends and his routine - but it is clear that he is loving being home with his family. He is happy having all of us at his beck and call throughout the day.

My sweet little boy has had some struggles during this COVD crisis, that is for sure. While he may need a few extra snuggles and a bit more patience, through it all, he is the sunshine that brightens my day.

How I found Nicky today...he wasn't sleeping. He was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.