A Total Shitastrophy

Rosie kisses her "Baby RJ" during the Giants game:

RJ watches football from Daddy's lap:

“Shitastrophy” was the word we used to describe Rosie’s diapers when she was an infant. In her early months, I think from the time she was 2 months old until about 5 ½ months, Rosie was a twice a week pooper. On Mondays and Thursdays, after 2pm, she would need a bigger diaper to accommodate the massive load that would come out of her little body. At least 60% of the time, even the bigger diaper was not enough to hold it all, and we would have a total shitastrophy on our hands.

RJ is a very different kid. From day 1, he has been one of those typical breast-fed babies who poops constantly. Well, he pooped like crazy until I started to supplement him with formula. Formula stopped his little butt right up. So, in an effort to keep my boy as regular as possible, I backed off the formula supplements and went back to nursing as much as possible and supplementing with breast milk whenever he needed a little extra. This resulted in the first major shitastrophy attributed to little RJ.

Shortly after eating, RJ pooped. Rich started to change his diaper. After getting his entire backside clean, Rich reached for the diaper – and that is when it happened. RJ let loose an explosive stream of what Rich described as “lava poop” all over his changing pad. (Fortunately it was his changing pad and not our couch.) At first, Rich didn’t even realize what was happening, so when I pointed out the new mess, he started yelling. The more he yelled, the more RJ pooped. The more RJ pooped, the harder Rosie and I laughed. The whole spectacle was beyond hysterical. The only one not amused by this whole thing was poor little RJ.

RJ was screaming his head off. Mouth wide open, yelling like crazy. Unfortunately, baby boys don’t have a whole lot of control over their penises…and no infants have control over their bladders. So, in the middle of the shitastrophy, while he is screaming his head off, RJ starts to pee…he pees all over the pooped-up changing pad…all over his pants…all over his onesie…but the worst is that the poor kid ends up peeing right in his own mouth.

Rich was still yelping and Rosie was still laughing. I stopped laughing when the poor kid got a mouthful of pee, but the whole event was mighty funny – and Rosie talked about it until she fell asleep several hours later. RJ got even more pissed off when his shitastrophy was followed up by a bath – but after a little snack, he had calmed down and was ready to be social again.

Even though RJ is just over two weeks old, we have learned that there are significant differences between boys and girls – and the ability to pee in ones’ own mouth is only one of them!