The Angel Turns 4

4.

She is 4.

Angelina Francesca, my baby, is no longer a baby.

I am not entirely sure how this happened - as I don't feel like I have aged four years since her birth. But, it is true. In just a few short hours, my Angelina will be four. In honor of her birthday, here is a letter to my Angel:

Dearest, sweetest Angelina -

Earlier today, I had the shear pleasure of watching you jump on trampolines with 20 of your "best friends," the children from your school who now get to see you more than I do. I watched you laugh and smile, and the excitement on your sweet face when you blew out your candle made my heart swell and my eyes fill with tears.

Then I had to laugh when you answered the door for Elsa. I, of course, was teary-eyed in anticipation of you meeting your treasured princess. You, in your oh-so-Angelina-esque way, simply turned around to your paparazzi and said "Hey! Elsa's here." So matter-of-factly! She could have just been the mailman! But then, you believed in your heart that Elsa would be here - because you asked me to invite her and you had a faith in me that was unshakable. I knew your little heart was racing though - I could see your excitement in the way you reverently held Elsa's hand as you walked her through the house and introduced her to your family and friends. ("Elsa - this is my grandmother, Nonna. Nonna, this is Elsa...Elsa...this is my mom, Kris. Mommy, this is Elsa...") I could have watched you all day.

It was a very Frozen birthday, for you. In truth, I am a little sick of all things Frozen. (Though I am thrilled with the amount of "ice blue" clothing that is now in your wardrobe...) You, my little darling, are far from being "over" your Frozen craze.

Angelina, the moment of your birth was quite amazing. Born just hours before your scheduled c-section (you didn't want to wait until 7:45am...but I wanted to wait until January 4th...this would be just our first battle of wills...), I just couldn't get over the beautiful sound of your first cries. They were so musical! Like little bells. Your cries were the most amazing sound I had ever heard. I even asked Daddy "is that her cry?" I couldn't get over them. At four, I am less amazed by the sound of your cry...but I could listen to you laugh all day! And, my littlest Love, we laugh often.

I am rarely prepared for the outbursts of your larger-than-life personality. Day-day has told me that you are me...all 35 years of my personality in one little 4-year-old body. I don't disagree. You are my mini-me, both physically and in personality. I can't get mad when you get sassy...as it is my very own words and inflections that you are spitting back out to me.

You are funny! So funny! Naturally goofy. And just a joy to be around. Just like your mother, your mood can turn on a dime and the beast in you is unleashed...but only for a moment and then you are back to all charms and sweetness. You only just recently started up with some fantastic temper tantrums. Feet kicking the floor and all! I can't help but laugh. I know you are trying to get a point across, but your methods are hilarious!

While it can be trying and troublesome at times, as a parent, I love that you have become the lawyer of the house. "Mom. You the parent but you can't tell her what to do." Uh...yes...yes, I can. "Mom. You not the boss of me." Yup. I am. You are wrong again! Just this week I was sticking your brother in time out for taking a toy away from you and as he cried, you negotiated his release.

You are a juxtaposition personified - the all-grown-up baby girl who refuses help when getting dressed but still want her binkie and her "foo-fee" and Fozzie Bear at night. You will ask for your crib back and a new baby in my belly all at the same time. (Don't count on it, kid.) You want nothing more than to be rocked to sleep and held all night...right after you have demonstrated how well you can climb the monkey bars, just like any kid thrice your age. You will call for your binkie when it is out of sight, as though it will answer, and when you find it, you will kiss it hello and give it a greeting that would be fit for a long-lost friend.

Speaking of friend - you have many...and you often describe them as best. "But Mom... she is my best friend!" "Have you seen my best friend?" I just eat it up!

I am tremendously hard-pressed to define which of your many qualities and quirks are my favorite...but a major front runner is how you will cup my face in your little hands to give me a kiss whenever you leave the room. My heart soars when I hear you say, "I love you, Mom." I adore that you say "Miss Macole" instead of Nicole and I lament that you have recently given up "I can't know how" as your reasoning for not cleaning up after yourself. Thankfully, while you seem to want to grow up way too fast for me, you still need that bink, wear "tie-time" undies and go "Nigh-nigh." You still want snuggles, and I hope you never outgrow your need for them.

You love princesses, dressing up, dolls and pretend make-up...and you ask me questions like "when is my penis going to grown in?" You know that body part is called your armpit, yet you have coined them "hippos," and the rest of us have followed suit. (Tickle the hippos! Yes, your hippos are dirty.)

Angelina, my Littlest Love, you came into my life when I needed you the most. You repaired my heart break and gave me a reason for joy. Since your birth, you have challenged me to grow stronger every day, and because of you, I am a better mother, woman and human.

I was asked often why I wanted a third. After all - I had a girl and I had a boy...there were no other options. But I needed an Angel.